The Coldest Take: The Quartering Jeremy Hambly Drops What He Thinks is Profound Knowledge
But it's actually just common sense to people who don't have brains pickled by Fireball
In his June 12 Rumble-only livestream, failing content creator and coffee maven Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, who is an estimated 473 pounds, dropped what he considered to be profound knowledge.
In reality, anyone with a brainstem would consider the “knowledge” common sense.
The knowledge in question comes from a brief conversation Hambly was having with himself about “watching dumb OnlyFans whores get dunked on” on shows like “Whatever” or “Fresh & Fit.”
“Just wanna offer a little red pill,” Hambly said, lowering his voice to signal the sagacity of the wisdom he was about to impart. “You know why those women go on those shows, right? Does anybody know the real reason they go on these shows and get made fun of?”
Here, Hambly pauses for dramatic effect, letting the pregnant silence swell with anticipation.
The silence is briefly broken by a snotty sniffle from Hambly’s hog nostrils.
“Nearly every single one of them gets massive spikes on their OnlyFans accounts every time.”
Shortly after this revelation, one of Hambly’s dogs enters his studio, and Hambly asks the dog if he ate a bird.
But back to the point made by Hambly: It’s difficult to imagine the type of person for whom this knowledge would be revelatory. Because if these dumb bitches did not get something significant in return for the abuse they receive on these shows, why would they continue to go on?
Why, before OnlyFans, were prostitutes and porn stars frequent guests on podcasts and shows like “Howard Stern?”
Because there’s always been a benefit to these whores subjecting themselves to public mockery.
Because the listeners and viewers of these shows are simp retards and will give these nasty whores their last dollar.
Eyewitnesses of today’s livestream suggest Hambly may have been one such simp retard who saw an OnlyFans whore on a show and subsequently subscribed to her. Perhaps when the disgusting whore did not respond to Hambly’s frequent messaging, Hambly suddenly saw that he’d been scammed, and the sales funnel became clear to him:
Sex worker comes on the show to get abused, providing the show content;
In exchange, a large chunk of the show’s mongoloid audience will subscribe to her OnlyFans in the hopes of seeing nudes and porn, but instead will see only “lewds.”
No word yet on who the OnlyFans whore who opened Hambly’s eyes may have been, but we here at lolcownews.com are hoping it was a troon.