The Quartering Jeremy Hambly BREAKING NEWS Alert
Coffee Brand Coffee is almost sold out of the Gingerbread Flavor in June
BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Failing livestreamer Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, a.k.a. TheQuartering, has announced his failing coffee company, Coffee Brand Coffee, is almost sold out of its Gingerbread flavor.
Yes, you read that correctly: Coffee Brand Coffee is selling a gingerbread-flavored coffee in June.
It’s highly unusual for a coffee company to sell what is considered a seasonal flavor out of season.
For example, Starbucks, a coffee company whose success Hambly can’t even conceive of in his wildest dreams, lists their gingerbread-flavored coffee as only available from October to January.
Traditionally, gingerbread is a Christmas flavor, inspired by the well-known tradition of building gingerbread houses. For more information on the history of gingerbread and its link to Christmas, read “A Short History of Gingerbread” by Sam Bilton.
Considering the fact that gingerbread, like eggnog, is not really something people are asking for in June, one has to wonder whether Hambly’s gingerbread coffee is left over from the Christmas season. If so, is the coffee still safe to drink?
Perhaps even more perplexing is the fact that Hambly, at least until recently, was also still selling a flavor of coffee called Spiked Jack-o-Lantern, though he said in a livestream on June 10, “I think we’re out of Spiked Jack-o-Lantern.”
On the Coffee Brand Coffee website, the Spiked Jack-o-Lantern flavor is described as capturing “the cozy magic of autumn…Embrace the spirit of Halloween with this enchanting coffee.”
We here at lolcownews.com feel it incumbent upon ourselves to once again point out that it is June.
While it’s strange that Hambly would sell autumnal and Christmas flavors in June, what is perhaps even more concerning is the intellectual capacities of the individuals who actually purchased these flavors at this point in the year. We here at lolcownews.com think perhaps these individuals should be under the strict supervision of dementia specialists.