Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, founder of the failing media enterprise The Quartering and chief coffee cuck at the barely breathing Coffee Brand Coffee, can’t hide his erection when talking about content creator Tobuscus, a.k.a. Toby Turner.

Hambly first revealed his latest obsession with Turner during a “Tard Cast” with fake Christian whore Melonie Mac on June 18. During the livestream, Hambly played Turner’s latest song, “Invader Scum.”

With its thumbnail of an ICE-branded rocket ship beside a sign that says, “Now deporting illegal creepers,” and its opening lines of “English, do you speak it? If not, get the fuck out,” it certainly seems to be a song that is critical of illegal immigration in America.

What’s immediately clear when listening to the song is that it’s extremely low effort, a fact revealed in the incoherence and/or simplicity of the lyrics: “We don’t want your language polluting our street signs, Go fuck yourself, Invader Scum…”

We here at lolcownews.com are inclined to believe the song is more satirical than earnest based on a later line where the singer says he “made up” a previous verse about a guy with 40 previous mugshots getting 80-percent odds on Polymarket of getting an acquittal on another crime.

Regardless of whether the song is a joke or meant to be taken seriously, watching Hambly talk about the song reveals something very striking. Despite this being a very low-effort artistic product, Hambly is agog at Tobuscus’ talent.

On a June 22 livestream, Hambly said he listened to the song over and over again during the weekend.

From all appearances, Hambly is spellbound by the song whose lyrics also include: “I saw a lady replace a USA flag with a flag from Somalia, She said she loves her country but hates our history, I said, ‘Somalia still has slavery,’ Go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, Invader Scum.”

A regular person might listen to the song once, and go, “Cool, next,” but Hambly can’t get it out of his head. Looking back on the career of Hambly, which includes content theft for his shorts content, poorly reading news articles written by others, and attempting parody songs with such lyrics as “dooby-dooby doo,” Hambly’s fascination with Tobuscus’ song becomes more understandable.

The song is low-effort, yes, but it still represents more effort than Hambly himself has ever put into anything in his entire life.

The song has minimal artistic talent, yes, but it still shows more talent than Hambly could ever summon to accomplish anything.

Tobuscus and “Invader Scum” represent a pile of dogshit to most people, but to Hambly, they’re his Mt. Olympus, his Nirvana and Valhalla. He can only dream about putting out such incredible content.

In a June 22 livestream, Jeremy Hambly, founder of the failing media company The Quartering and the failing coffee company Coffee Brand Coffee, revealed he believes the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool in Washington, D.C., is a swimming pool.

Hambly did a segment on the reflecting pool during his livestream. The segment included coverage of supposed defacement of the reflecting pool by people pouring “live algae” and cutting out the pool’s liner - acts Hambly attributed to “the Left.”

In introducing the segment on the reflecting pool, Hambly said:

“The Left has hit rock bottom. They used to be out there protesting for actual causes. Now all they have left is vandals and losers ruining swimming pools.”

The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool is, in fact, not a swimming pool, and attempting to enter it is strictly prohibited. In fact, trying to swim in the reflecting pool would carry the same charges as dumping algae into it or removing its liner.

It’s unclear why Hambly would refer to the reflecting pool as a swimming pool. Sources close to The Quartering, who requested anonymity, say Hambly was particularly inebriated on Xanax, alcohol, and a new Adderall prescription during the livestream, so he may have been acting more retarded than usual.

In a June 19 livestream, Jeremy Dale Hambly of the failing media company The Quartering and the failing coffee company Coffee Brand Coffee picked at his eye, apparently retrieved something from it, and then proceeded to sniff the unknown material he’d extracted.

In a previous article, lolcownews.com reported that Hambly had revealed he is diseased with some illness that causes a “bulls-eye”-shaped rash on his leg. Could this same mysterious disease cause eye discharge?

Another important question to ask is, if the discharge has an odor, as it appears it does because Hambly smells his finger after picking at his eye, does Hambly have an odor about him?

What then does Hambly smell like?

Is Hambly contagious?

What safeguards are in place to ensure Coffee Brand Coffee products are not contaminated by the mysterious illness?

Is the mysterious illness responsible for the seizure Hambly’s dog, Huck, recently suffered?

Does this mysterious illness have any connection to “Pork Night,” to which Hambly referred in another recent livestream?

lolcownews.com reached out to the Wisconsin Department of Health Services to inquire about any recent reports from Hambly’s town. The WDHS said they have not received any complaints about mysterious odors or diseases, but they are actively monitoring the situation. Further, they watched the clip lolcownews.com recorded of the livestream and agreed that Hambly is a disgusting pig.

During a June 18 livestream, Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, owner of the failing media company The Quartering and the failing coffee company Coffee Brand Coffee, announced he had sold off many of his toy collections in the hopes that someday he’ll be able to retire.

“I’ve really embraced this saying of, ‘Don’t let your possessions possess you,’” Hambly said. “I really realized that was happening.”

That’s why, according to Hambly, he sold off his NES video game collection, his Funko Pop collection, his remote-controlled (RC) car collection, and his full-sized arcade of 40-50 games.

“It was causing me crazy stress every day because I wasn’t using it (these toys),” Hambly said.

According to Hambly, of his 30 RC cars, 25 of them had never been opened.

It’s odd that looking at unopened boxes and other things you bought would cause stress. We here at lolcownews.com believe that it was actually Hambly's upcoming mortgage payment and wondering how he would pay it that was actually causing him stress.

Hambly, who has on multiple occasions referred to himself as a millionaire, said he sold the items on Facebook Marketplace and has had “weirdos” from the platform coming to his property day and night.

Once his arcade was listed on the platform, it was quickly purchased by an individual who came to his property with a semi-truck to remove the arcade games.

Additionally, another person purchased Hambly’s NES collection.

In another instance, Hambly said he sold an old vacuum for $200.

“I just put the money in the bank,” Hambly said. “Now I have the money in the savings account. I don’t miss it at all. I wasn’t connected to it at all.”

Further, Hambly said he was going to bulldoze his RC car track, which cost him $15,000 to build, this weekend.

A chatter in the Rumble chat commented, “Rich person problems?”

“I don’t think so,” Hambly said. “That’s not a rich-person problem. Well, I guess maybe it is.”

Hambly goes on to reiterate at least three more times he’s perfectly at peace with selling off his collections.

“I don’t feel any kind of way about it,” he said.

Hambly said “the last cancel thing (where the internet was outraged that he, a supposed free-speech right-wing content creator, orchestrated the banning of the Kino Casino Clips channel, as well as other content creators’ channels, from YouTube because they were making fun of his wife supposedly getting fucked out by a Jew while Hambly stood in the corner and furiously jerked his limp penis) was like a real thing.”

“I was like, ‘Oh, shit, I don’t have enough money in the bank to retire right now, I should probably just do that,’” said Hambly, 43 and after making millions of dollars over the past decade.

Hambly said his arcade games were previously housed in an outbuilding on his property. If he hadn’t built the outbuilding and instead invested that money in the stock market, “I’d be feeling good.”

Instead, his wife will turn the outbuilding into “an indoor agility course for the dogs in the winter.”

To every Quartering alog platform, we here at lolcownews.com say, “Congratulations, you rattled him. Don’t stop.”

To Hambly, we here at lolcownews.com say, “Congratulations, it sounds like you can afford your $10,000 mortgage this month.”

During a barnburner nearly 8.5-hour livestream June 17, Ethan Ralph of the illustrious Killstream revealed his former beloved crackwhore Scarlett Hampton has a cousin who was convicted of producing child pornography.

Also during the livestream, Ralph revealed Scarlett disclosed this information to him while they were still in a relationship - when Ralph could still taste Hampton’s loyalty. However, it’s only been in recent days, after the relationship between Hampton and Ralph has become particularly acrimonious, that Ralph investigated Hampton’s claim and found it to be apparently true.

We here at lolcownews.com are, quite frankly, shocked. Scumbags are related to scumbags?

Shocking.

Ralph apparently tried to confront Hampton with his newly confirmed information during another livestream, but Hampton vehemently shut down the conversation, perhaps from embarrassment.

“That’s who Scarlett Hampton is,” Ralph squealed during the June 17 stream, referring to Hampton trying to prevent Ralph’s information from reaching the public.

Reminder that Hampton is also Ralph’s ex-fiancé, and Ralph, by his own admission, did not care too much about Hampton’s child-porn-producing cousin until after their romantic relationship turned sour.

Ralph went on to theorize that Hampton could also be involved with child trafficking, which seems to stem from a claim Hampton has made that former director of the White House Presidential Personnel Office John McEntee allegedly tried to purchase a 12-year-old from Hampton.

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” Ralph said.

Ralph goes on to state that he will stop talking about Hampton’s pedophile cousin if Hampton will also stop talking about Ralph, which includes Hampton’s frequent claim that Ralph raped her and also stole her laptop.

Evidently, Ralph was not performing some public service by revealing the information about Hampton’s pedophile cousin but only trying to embarrass Hampton and intimidate her.

Ralph isn’t altruistic but actually self-serving and vindictive?

Again, shocking.

Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, founder of the failing media company The Quartering and chief coffee huckster at the failing Coffee Brand Coffee, admitted during a June 17 livestream that he is diseased.

He opened the show by talking about a rash on his leg that was in the shape of a “bull’s eye,” which, according to Hambly, is often associated with tick bites. He also fretted over the possibility of not being able to eat meat, apparently referring to Alpha-gal syndrome, an allergy to mammalian meat, which can be a symptom of tick bites.

Additionally, he said he didn’t think it was “Lyme’s disease,” though he has been feeling very fatigued as of late, which is often seen in patients with Lyme disease, as well as in Xanax addicts and alcoholics.

Hambly said looking at the curiously shaped rash on his leg sends his anxiety spiking, which one true and honest chatter in the Rumble chat tried to help by suggesting Hambly would have to get the leg amputated.

“It will turn you gay, amputate,” said the chatter, to which Hambly laughed and said he would rather have a prosthetic leg than have Lyme disease or not be able to eat meat.

“It could be nothing,” Hambly said after spending the first five minutes of his show worrying that it could, in fact, be something.

Referring to the small red dot in the center of the rash, Hambly said he “dug around in there with a knife, so if there was a tick in there, it’s not anymore.”

Hambly’s initial topic to discuss on the stream was “250,000 young white girls raped by Muslims,” but the stream was cut short when one of Hambly’s dogs apparently had a seizure. We here at lolcownews.com earnestly hope the dog is OK. Morbidly, it’s humorous to hear Hambly calling out for his wife like the impotent man-child he is at the end of the stream.

The Quartering’s suffering is seemingly endless, and we here at lolcownews.com are here to cover it.

Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, host of the failing TheQuartering and founder of the failing Coffee Brand Coffee, may have revealed that he celebrates a curious and potentially dangerous holiday in his household during a June 16 livestream.

During the livestream, co-hosted with noted e-whore Christian Melonie Mac, the two discussed a story about Christian baseball players who had written Bible verses on the Gay Pride hats they’d been supposedly forced to wear by Major League Baseball.

As the two discussed religious discrimination, Hambly made a reference to an ominous-sounding holiday:

“They (MLB) wouldn’t make a Muslim celebrate Pork Night,” Hambly said, which was apparently offered as a parity argument for why Christians should not be forced to wear Pride hats.

The question immediately becomes: What the hell is Pork Night?

After an investigation by lolcownews.com, we discovered there have been a rash of pig-nappings from the farms in the general vicinity of Hambly’s property in Wisconsin.

Additionally, local grocers report increased sales in pork products - so much that they’re struggling to keep their shelves and cooler units stocked. CCTV footage from several of these grocers reveals a customer, who resembles Hambly in the fact that he is the fattest human being ever observed, purchasing large quantities of pork loins, bacon, ham, pork shoulders, and pork chops every day for the last week and a half.

Eyewitnesses say they’ve never seen a man so intent on purchasing pork.

If the figure seen in the footage is indeed Hambly, what exactly is he doing with all this pork?

What and when is Pork Night?

How is it celebrated?

Are the residents of Hambly’s town in danger?

The investigation by lolcownews.com will continue.

Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, known for the failing media company TheQuartering and his equally failing coffee company Coffee Brand Coffee, and who is now advertising himself as a Christian, started his June 16 livestream by asking fellow die-hard Christian Melonie Mac an oddly sinful question.

“Where’s Mothra on your hotness scale compared to Godzilla and Predator?” Hambly asked.

Mac, who frequently makes a spectacle of herself both on livestream and on X, screaming about how homosexuality is an abomination before God, goes on to rate the fictional giant-moth creature as “a solid 7.5 in hotness…Godzilla’s more like a nine…Predator’s a 10.”

Whether this rises to the level of bestiality, which the Bible expressly forbids in such books as Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy, is up for debate. What is certain is that Mac is expressing sexual attraction to non-human entities. The Bible is silent on the morality of sexual attraction to non-humans of extraterrestrial origin, such as Predator, or animals that have been transformed into monsters due to nuclear radiation, although we here at lolcownews.com feel comfortable in saying God would condemn it.

This development lends credence to the widespread criticism that Mac is a fake Christian. Further evidence that supports this case is that she dresses like a whore that would be stoned in biblical times.

Hambly’s initial question brings up further questions that yearn to be answered, such as:

“Is this a conversation that a true Christian would engage in?”

“Are you sexually attracted to non-human entities, Jeremy?”

Shortly after this conversation, the topic changes to a movie Hambly recently watched on Mac’s recommendation called “They Will Kill You,” whose black lead actress Hambly describes as “obviously super hot.”

Does that not qualify as lust, one of the seven deadly sins, Jeremy?

Mac then describes an orgy in the film as “gross.”

Is it grosser than sexual attraction to fictional non-human characters, Melonie?

As the conversation proceeds, it’s interesting that Hambly, several times, uses the word “blasphemy” to describe movies he thinks are good or bad, so evidently he’s familiar with the term but doesn’t think lusting after other women when you’re married or asking someone a question about bestiality is blasphemous.

In a tweet the morning of Tuesday, June 16, Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, proprietor of the foundering media enterprise TheQuartering and sinking-ship coffee company Coffee Brand Coffee, admitted that he’s fat and stupid and his brain hurts.

The tweet in question said:

“Going through these charging documents on the UFC terrorists is hurting my brain, it’s like someone who enjoys BOTH Candace Owens & Hasan Piker, holds both far left and far right opinions, hates jews & capitalism but are also obsessed with epstein. what is this new strain?”

Hambly has admitted that he hasn’t read a book since at least college, if not before that. He has not admitted to being functionally illiterate, which we here at lolcownews.com suspect, which might explain why he stumbles and mispronounces words all the time during his livestreams while reading the news. Alcoholism and Xanax could also be the culprits.

This tweet reveals that not only is reading difficult for Hambly, but he is stupid, as the brain has no pain receptors and thus cannot feel pain.

Additionally, this tweet is yet another example of Hambly’s well-known lack of self-awareness. In struggling through the words on the charging documents, Hambly says he gets the impression that these “UFC terrorists” hold clashing beliefs.

Are you able to apply that same analysis to yourself, Jeremy?

Are you able to see that you are not that much different from these individuals?

How can a man be both broke and rich at the same time?

How can a coffee ad exist and not exist within the same video?

How can a coffee company be both drowning in debt and setting sales records every week?

How can a media company be both under attack and doing as well as it always has?

You, like these “UFC terrorists,” are a man of contradictions. You may as well be reading about yourself.

This “new strain” is, in fact, you, bish.

Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, known online for his failing media empire TheQuartering and failing coffee company Coffee Brand Coffee, has been talking about attending church and taking communion during recent livestreams.

After an investigation, lolcowsnews.com discovered Hambly’s home church is The Church of Right-Wing Grifters Pretending to Be Christians So They Can Fleece Their Retarded Conservative Viewers, a non-denominational church.

We spoke with Pastor Charlie McRetard, who said the church was doing well financially prior to Hambly’s regular attendance but is now struggling to keep the lights on.

“We used to kill it,” McRetard said. “We’d buy a box of 1,000 communion wafers for $50 every two weeks, and every week we’d make about $50,000 in the offering plate and online donations.”

However, things changed when Hambly, who exceeds the weight limit of residential weight scales, started attending.

“Now we have to have hundreds of boxes of communion wafers on hand just for Jeremy,” McRetard said. “If he doesn’t get at least one million wafers every Sunday, he throws a fit and starts screaming, ‘My faith is under attack!’”

McRetard also said Hambly insists the pastor personally administer each of the multiple millions of wafers every Sunday, placing them one by one on Hambly’s pig tongue.

“It’s distressing,” McRetard said. “He likes to maintain eye contact with me as he chews and swallows. It’s almost like a sexual act for him.”

Because of Hambly’s pig-like gluttony, McRetard said his church is on the verge of financial collapse, similar to TheQuartering and Coffee Brand Coffee.

“We can’t survive like this,” McRetard said. “I can’t survive like this.”

McRetard said he has nightmares every night in which he sees Hambly’s tongue as a giant monster with no eyes but with a huge, gaping maw filled with razor-sharp teeth.

“I’m seriously considering suicide,” said McRetard. “I can’t do it anymore.”

Hambly’s hunger for communion wafers shouldn’t come as a surprising development. Lolcownews.com and other news organizations, such as Kino Casino, have reported on Hambly’s unappeasable appetite for the pleasures of the flesh, such as Rolexes, cars, video game systems, and trading cards such as Pokémon and Magic: The Gathering.

News of Hambly’s greed has spread outside the walls of McRetard’s church and has reportedly caught the ear of the local Catholic diocese. Rumors are swirling that attendees of The Church of Right-Wing Grifters Pretending to Be Christians So They Can Fleece Their Retarded Conservative Viewers are imploring the Holy See to conduct an exorcism on Hambly in an attempt to extricate the lolcow demon they believe is inside of him.

This is a developing story and will be updated as we gather more information.

Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, founder of the failing media endeavor TheQuartering and failing coffee company Coffee Brand Coffee, has claimed, at various times, either that he sells in excess of 10,000 units of coffee every month or that his coffee business processes more than 10,000 orders every month.

Do the publicly available sales numbers support this?

To answer this question, we’ll be looking at the rough monthly sales volume numbers available on Amazon. For particular products, Amazon will tell the customer how many units of that particular product have been sold in the past month. That information is located just below the product title and description, as shown in the screenshot below:

Visiting Coffee Brand Coffee’s Amazon page, we click on the first option, which is “Coffee KCups.”

The products available and their corresponding rough monthly sales volume:

Vanilla Sugar Cookie - no information

Hot Butter Rum - 50+

Butterscotch Toffee - no information

Blueberry Cobbler - 100+

Strawberries ‘n Cream - 50+

Premium Medium Roast - 50+

Gingerbread - 600+

Premium Dark Roast - no information

Spiked Jack-o’-Lantern - no information

Maple Cream - no information

Apple Strudel - no information

Next, we visit “Flavored Coffee,” which offers ground and whole-bean products:

Bourbon Whole Bean - no information

Bourbon Ground - no information

Blueberry Cobbler Whole Bean - no information

Blueberry Cobbler Ground - 100+

Strawberries ‘N Cream Whole Bean - no information

Strawberries ‘N Cream Ground - no information

Butterscotch Whole Bean - 50+

Butterscotch Ground - 50+

Blackberry Cream Ground - no information

Tigers Blood Ground - no information

Spiked Jack-o’-Lantern Ground - no information

Maple Cream Whole Bean - no information

Maple Cream Ground - 50+

Apple Strudel Ground - no information

Apple Strudel Whole Bean - no information

Hot Butter Rum Ground - 50+

Vanilla Sugar Cookie Ground - no information

Next, we go to “Original Roast Coffee”:

Dark Roast Ground - no information

Dark Roast Whole Bean - no information

Double Caffeinated Ground - no information

Double Caffeinated Whole Bean - no information

Light Roast Ground - no information

Light Roast Whole Bean - no information

Silky Ultra Dark Roast Whole Bean - no information

Silky Ultra Dark Roast Ground - no information

Medium Roast Whole Bean - no information

Medium Roast Ground - no information

Finally, we go to “Flavored Coffee - 5LB,” which has both ground and whole-bean options:

Strawberries ‘N Cream Ground - no information

Strawberries ‘N Cream Whole Bean - no information

Butterscotch Toffee Ground - no information

Butterscotch Toffee Whole Bean - no information

Blueberry Cobbler Ground - no information

Blueberry Cobbler Whole Bean - no information

Bourbon Ground - no information

Bourbon Whole Bean - no information

It’s important to note that, just because there is no sales information associated with these products doesn’t mean that no units were sold - just not enough units were sold to warrant Amazon’s note that “50+” were sold, which seems to be the threshold for which Amazon will post that notice.

It’s also important to note that these notes seem to be in increments of 50, so it’s likely that products that sold 50+ sold more than 50 but not 100, because that would probably then trigger the “100+” notice.

So how many units did Hambly actually sell on Amazon in the past year?

Taking only the base numbers, without accounting for the units in between 50 and 100, Coffee Brand Coffee has sold 1,150 units in the past month.

Hambly, for the past couple of livestreams, including this morning’s, claims that last week was a “bonanza” of sales - in fact, “record-setting.”

We here at lolcownews.com do not know how frequently Amazon updates its public-facing sales information, so it’s entirely likely that some of these products that are currently listed as “no information” may actually have sold units recently. It’s also possible that other products may have sold more than they currently show.

What’s clear from this information is that Coffee Brand Coffee does not sell anywhere near 10,000 units, nor process 10,000 orders, a month on Amazon.

Which then leaves Coffee Brand Coffee’s website.

Is it possible that Coffee Brand Coffee sells more than 8,850 units or processes the same number of orders to bridge the gap between its monthly Amazon sales and Hambly’s reported 10,000 monthly figure?

Yes, it is possible.

Probable?

Ask yourself if it’s probable that an independent webstore would sell more of anything than the world’s largest retailer.

We here at lolcownews.com express our doubt.

In a recent livestream, the chill and positive livestreamer Phil Burnell, a.k.a. DarksydePhil, or DSP, of DSPGaming and DSP Tries It, played a game that didn’t drop any of his inputs.

The game in question was an action shooter called “Killer Bean,” which is currently in beta.

Although the game showed some bugs, such as showing the frame rate of the game, which Phil swore he did not enable, DSP was able to play the game without any gameplay issues, and even managed not to die until facing a major boss, a truly remarkable feat for a professional game streamer who has been plagued with issues that are not and have absolutely never been 100 percent his fault.

Dropped inputs are well known as a scourge in the life and career of DSP. Examples are numerous, but are most commonly seen when playing a fighting game, such as Street Fighter, where Phil will try to perform an action, but the game doesn’t register the pressed button, frequently leading to DSP getting his ass kicked.

Phil often swears up and down that the issue is dropped inputs, not that he doesn’t know the proper buttons to click or that his reflexes are slow.

After an investigation by lolcownews.com, we found that Phil is actually telling the truth: Private journal entries from his many-times-great-grandmother, Philomena Burnell, reveal that Phil’s many-times-great-grandfather, Phineas, raped a witch in 1691. Subsequently, the witch cursed Phineas’ bloodline with dropped inputs for eternity.

Phil’s relatively issue-free play-through of “Killer Bean” may signal the curse is finally lifting. The real test, though, will be actually playing a game, such as Street Fighter, with which he’s had issues in the past.

The Quartering Jeremy Hambly of Wisconsin has a very curious problem, besides everything else in his life.

The problem has to do with the likes/dislikes his content on Rumble gets.

Every single short gets more dislikes than likes, most by 2:1, many by 3:1, and so on.

Besides the obvious, what could this mean?

A possible cope that Hambly will come up with is that the viewers, who are older, dislike the shorts because of the stories they show. For example, in one short, Planet Fitness calls the police on a customer because he repeatedly asked women in the gym for a threesome.

This short has 42 likes to 145 dislikes.

So are the viewers disliking the video because they’re disgusted by the Planet Fitness customer? Or are they disliking the video because of Jeremy Hambly himself?

In Hambly’s defense (also, fuck you, Jeremy), using a browser extension called Return YouTube Dislike, we can see his YouTube Shorts get much more likes than dislikes.

The case is much the same with long-form content. Most of Hambly’s long videos get more dislikes than likes on Rumble, though some are closer to an even split than others.

Meanwhile, on YouTube, his long-form content gets many more likes than dislikes.

Hambly currently prioritizes Rumble over YouTube, posting certain shorts there exclusively, as well as hosting his livestream there exclusively. It’s also the site where he gets ad reads (for competing coffee company 1775 Coffee, for example).

What does it mean when a livestreamer’s platform of choice dislikes his content more than likes it?

If his content is better received on YouTube, why is he not prioritizing YouTube?

Will he use the right-wing grifter’s favorite cope, that YouTube is “shadowbanning” him?

(Side note: If YouTube is shadowbanning you, why are you paying them to promote your content, Jeremy?)

It will be interesting to see what, if any, excuse Hambly will offer for this matter.

Early in the afternoon of Sunday, June 14, X user ab Martin Digital tweeted the following to failing coffee mogul Jeremy Hambly of The Quartering:

“I purchased the Blueberry Creme. It was nice…strong blueberry flavor. I’m drinking it right now. I wish you’d make Hazelnut with a strong Hazelnut flavor.”

The user attached an image of a fiery thumbs-up, emphasizing how pleased he was with the purchase.

Jeremy Hambly of The Quartering replied with:

“make sure to go back to the product page and leave a review please.”

That’s it, Jeremy? That’s all this user gets, after he took the time to personally tweet to you that he really enjoyed the coffee he purchased from you? You couldn’t even include a, “Hey, thanks for letting me know, glad you enjoyed it!” before asking for a product review?

This example is representative of who Jeremy Hambly of The Quartering is: an insatiable consumer, someone who will never get enough of anything, whether it’s money, views, likes, Rolexes, CyberTrucks, saltwater fish, video game systems, or anything else.

He wants people to buy his coffee, but even after you do that, he wants you to leave a review. Surely even after leaving a review, he’ll ask you to buy more coffee, then leave more reviews.

You’re in your mid-40’s, Jeremy. It’s about time you learned to be grateful for what you have, what you had, and what you get. But if that were to happen, you might very well stop being a lolcow, and that would be very bad for lolcownews.com, so please carry on as you have been doing.

During a June 12 Rumble livestream that was sure to make Ethan Ralph popular and relevant again, stupid whore and Ralph’s ex-fiancé, the shit-eating schizophrenic Scarlett Hampton, ruined everything.

Despite their tumultuous relationship, which has mainly revolved around a supposed sex tape they filmed together, which they have both threatened the other with releasing online in a Mexican standoff on X, Ralph believed Hampton would add a valuable perspective to his show’s panel. Other guests on the panel included father-fucker Grace Thorpe and some black guy nobody’s ever heard of.

The purpose of the panel was not immediately clear. Before Hampton came on, the first topic Ralph asked Thorpe and the black guy to discuss was why black people account for more sex crimes.

Once Hampton got on the show, the topic changed to whether porn should be banned or regulated. Interestingly, Hampton, a pornstar noted for her body of work on

Blacked.com

, thinks porn should be banned.

At one point, while trying to change the topic to “18 questions,” Ralph makes the joke, “It’s 18 questions because we don’t wait for 21 around here.”

To this, the black guy, who apparently is not familiar with Ralph, simply says, “Whoa…”

Shortly after this comment by Ralph, Hampton asks if a relationship between a 21-year old and a 52-year old is normal, to which Ralph says no.

Hampton, believing Ralph was making fun of her, then gets offended and goes on to accuse Ralph for the 8,347th time of raping her.

The show rapidly deteriorates. Ralph kicks Hampton off the show, saying he is not going to give her a platform to voice such allegations against him. He then quickly says goodbye to his guests.

Despite this encounter, Hampton comes back on the show about three hours later.

For 10 minutes, an ear-splitting fire alarm is inexplicably going off, which neither Hampton nor Ralph acknowledges.

It’s difficult to say at what point the Xanax took effect, but certainly by the 4-hour 26-minute mark, when Ralph returns from a musical interlude, he’s in the benzo doldrums: As he gets back into frame, there’s a dollop of some creamy substance in his mustache.

Around the 4-hour-30-minute mark, Ralph reveals he’s eating yogurt with chopsticks. It’s also around this time that Hampton’s space on screen is replaced with a flipped duplicate of Ralph’s.

Not much else happens, as is typical of the Killstream, which ends with an unmemorable whimper.

Nevertheless, we here at

lolcowsnews.com

congratulate Ethan Ralph on another stunning and incredible Killstream!

Snark.vegas, the competitor to KiwiFarms long promoted by the RagePig Ethan Ralph, went live June 12.

According to Ralph on a Rumble livestream the same day, Ralph has no special privileges with Snark.vegas.

“I’m not making any money off of it, I don’t have any mod powers, I can’t see anything on the backend,” Ralph said. “I can’t see any IPs. I’m a regular member, except I have a special flair.”

We here at lolcownews.com find these statements from Ralph, who has repeatedly doxxed numerous individuals and frequently employs it as an intimidation tactic, dubious, to say the least.

We also think if you make a profile on Snark.vegas because you believe Ralph’s statements, you’re a retard.

What’s most significant about the announcement of Snark.vegas’ launch is Ralph’s claim that a thread was started by none other than failing livestreamer and coffee cuck Jeremy Hambly of TheQuartering and Coffee Brand Coffee.

The first post in the “Ashton Joel Parks / PPP / People’s Populis Press - FAT, Churchless, Warsky wrangler, fatherless queef who streamed his shaved asshole” is authored, according to Ralph and supported by the user’s profile picture and name, by Hambly.

If this is true, the language used in the post differs dramatically from the language used by Hambly in his livestreams.

Whereas Hambly’s speech is often sanitized to an annoying degree, frequently employing such verbal censorship as referring to “rape” as “grape,” the Snark.vegas post throws around such terms as “faggot” and other phrases that are not advertiser-friendly.

In the post, the supposed Hambly criticizes Ashton Parks, a.k.a. PPP, and Andy Warski of the Kino Casino, a show that has frequently criticized Hambly.

Most of the things Hambly writes about PPP and Warski are already well-known, such as PPP showing his remarkably pink asshole on a livestream, the fact that he is, like Jeremy, morbidly obese, and that Warski is a retarded former cocaine addict.

Real devastating stuff, Jeremy.

But in fact it’s very likely not the real Hambly. For example, in the post, the author refers to Hambly, who is supposedly himself, as Jeremy.

The author concludes the post with the statement:

“Ralph’s still out here winning while you’re (PPP) a homeless churchless diabetic meme with your bare ass forever preserved in internet history.”

While proclaiming that Ethan Ralph is “winning” is exactly the kind of brainless statement Hambly would make, we still think the author is unlikely to be the actual Hambly.

And if it is, in fact, Hambly, how would Ralph know, if he has no access to the backend?

He may have been told by the actual Snark.vegas administrators.

Will the administrators share information with Ralph regarding other posters?

Time will tell, but smart money is on “yes.”

In his June 12 Rumble-only livestream, failing content creator and coffee maven Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, who is an estimated 473 pounds, dropped what he considered to be profound knowledge.

In reality, anyone with a brainstem would consider the “knowledge” common sense.

The knowledge in question comes from a brief conversation Hambly was having with himself about “watching dumb OnlyFans whores get dunked on” on shows like “Whatever” or “Fresh & Fit.”

“Just wanna offer a little red pill,” Hambly said, lowering his voice to signal the sagacity of the wisdom he was about to impart. “You know why those women go on those shows, right? Does anybody know the real reason they go on these shows and get made fun of?”

Here, Hambly pauses for dramatic effect, letting the pregnant silence swell with anticipation.

The silence is briefly broken by a snotty sniffle from Hambly’s hog nostrils.

“Nearly every single one of them gets massive spikes on their OnlyFans accounts every time.”

Shortly after this revelation, one of Hambly’s dogs enters his studio, and Hambly asks the dog if he ate a bird.

But back to the point made by Hambly: It’s difficult to imagine the type of person for whom this knowledge would be revelatory. Because if these dumb bitches did not get something significant in return for the abuse they receive on these shows, why would they continue to go on?

Why, before OnlyFans, were prostitutes and porn stars frequent guests on podcasts and shows like “Howard Stern?”

Because there’s always been a benefit to these whores subjecting themselves to public mockery.

Because the listeners and viewers of these shows are simp retards and will give these nasty whores their last dollar.

Eyewitnesses of today’s livestream suggest Hambly may have been one such simp retard who saw an OnlyFans whore on a show and subsequently subscribed to her. Perhaps when the disgusting whore did not respond to Hambly’s frequent messaging, Hambly suddenly saw that he’d been scammed, and the sales funnel became clear to him:

Sex worker comes on the show to get abused, providing the show content;

In exchange, a large chunk of the show’s mongoloid audience will subscribe to her OnlyFans in the hopes of seeing nudes and porn, but instead will see only “lewds.”

No word yet on who the OnlyFans whore who opened Hambly’s eyes may have been, but we here at lolcownews.com are hoping it was a troon.

The internet is growing concerned for failing livestreamer Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, known for TheQuartering and his failing Coffee Brand Coffee company.

Recent reports suggest that the obese right-wing grifter’s YouTube Shorts output has drastically declined as of late.

On June 9, Hambly posted three Shorts:

The first video on that day was a clip of a volcano filling with lava. At the beginning of the video, Hambly addresses the viewer, saying, “This is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen, check this out,” before cutting to the clip and letting it play.

The second video on that day involved a clip of a woman crying after she had crashed her car through a building. Jeremy introduces the clip by asking, “Is it wrong that I enjoyed every minute of this woman’s crashout? Check this out.”

The third and final video of June 9 used a clip filmed by an individual going around her office as she filmed her co-workers’ responses to the question, “How do you like your job?” However, what apparently tickled Hambly pink about this video was that the woman filming applied a live filter to her camera, which distorted her co-workers’ faces to appear as though they were sneering in disgust as they answered the question with variations of, “I like my job.”

Hambly introduced the video by saying, “I’m not convinced she actually likes her job. What do you think? Check this out.”

On June 10, Hambly posted a video using a clip of a man arguing with an insurance adjuster about a claim. Hambly introduces the video by saying, “Insurance companies are beyond corrupt, and this proves it. Check this out.”

On June 11, Hambly posted a video using a clip of a woman addressing an audience and telling a long-winded joke about the differences between men and women, which ends with the punchline, “Women are impossible to please.”

Jeremy introduced the video by saying, “This might be the best explanation between men and women I’ve ever come across. Check this out.”

(Side note: “Best explanation between men and women,” Jeremy? I think you missed a few words there, you inarticulate, illiterate, pill-popping, booze-chugging retard.)

Another video posted June 11 featured a clip about a man and woman on a date arguing about who would pay for the dinner. The man says he will not pay if she will not sleep with him.

Jeremy introduces the clip by saying, “This is modern dating. Yikes! Check this out.”

Concern for Hambly comes from the fact that his YouTube Shorts are relatively straightforward to produce: He browses X and other social media looking for interesting and potentially viral content, to which he then attaches his own inane two-second introductory video, which he films in huge batches (evident from the fact that consecutive Shorts feature Hambly in the same clothing made from window curtains).

He’ll also place his TheQuartering watermark throughout the video, leading to the impression that he is claiming ownership over the content he pulled from social media.

It’s not an overreach to say that Hambly is a filthy, rotten content thief.

So is the sudden lull in Shorts the result of Hambly’s laziness?

Is he sick?

Is he starting to see the futility in using Shorts to try to look like a successful streamer?

Does he finally realize the Shorts viewers are not the long-form content viewers he’s looking for, who will purchase his coffee, give him donations and memberships, and sit through his endless ad reads?

Is Hambly finally LEARNING?

Unlikely, but we’ll keep you updated as this story develops.

In a video posted June 11 titled “GARBAGE HUMANS,” Jeremy Dale Hambly of Wisconsin, founder of the failing TheQuartering and proprietor of the failing Coffee Brand Coffee, said his coffee makes great stocking stuffers.

Hambly certainly seems to have Christmas on the mind, as discussed in a previous post regarding certain flavors Hambly is currently trying to off-load.

“Stocking stuffers” are generally smaller gifts one purchases in order to fill up Christmas stockings.

Despite extensive research, we here at lolcownews.com were unable to locate any information about any possible “summer stockings” that may need stuffing.

This post by Gourmet Gift Baskets talks about data reporting that, between 2020 and 2024, Americans shopped for Christmas gifts between 26 and 38 days before December 25.

There are currently 197 days until Christmas.

This comment by Jeremy raises many questions:

Is Jeremy Hambly aware of where he is?

Does he know what year it is?

Does he know what time of year it is?

Has the alcohol incapacitated Jeremy Hambly to the point that he thinks anyone is looking for stocking stuffers in June?

The answers to these questions are unclear.

Fans of Ethan Ralph, host of the illustrious KillStream, are tentatively getting their hopes up that the RagePig of yesteryear is finally making a comeback.

Recent streams have shown Ralph employing his trademark holler, which is typically denoted by a sudden shift in tone and attitude.

As one example, during a June 9 stream, noted alog Panhandler made a comment in Ralph’s chat while Ralph was drearily comparing his ex-fiancé, the schizophrenic Blacked.com superwhore Scarlett Hampton, to Ralph’s sick Mexican dog, Benito.

When the chat from Panhandler came in, Ralph’s mood instantly changed to one of righteous anger, and the holler was heard.

“Hey, fuck you, Panhandler,” Ralph said as the wooden chair he sat upon can be heard scraping along the ground as the RagePig made room to hurl around the Gunt. “Why don’t you call in, cocksucker? Why don’t I send you the link, so I can blow your fucking ass out live on air?”

Ralph seems to be implying he wants to verbally dominate Panhandler in a live discussion, but the words he uses suggest otherwise, perhaps giving credence to rumors that Ralph is a homosexual.

In any case, the RagePig continued:

“‘Cause I don’t like you, motherfucker, and you think you’re hot fucking shit.”

At this point, Ralph’s trademark sunglasses, used to hide the dilation of his pupils caused by excessive alcohol and Xanax consumption, are now off, and even through the black-and-white filter, which Ralph uses to hide his skin imperfections (unsuccessfully), the viewer can see in his pig slits a gleam of the fire inside the RagePig.

“I seen you on all these other fucking shows,” Ralph goes on. “You think you’re hot fucking shit. Why don’t you step up?”

Ralph then takes hold of the microphone in his pig hoof and stands, though he still has to bend over to stay in view of the camera, whereas other more competent streamers might tilt the camera upward so they can stand upright, which is an objectively more imposing stance.

“Why don’t you come on this show right-fucking-now, you pussy fucking FAG?”

It’s unclear whether Ralph meant “pussy-fucking fag,” which would imply that Panhandler is a faggot who likes to fuck pussy, or whether he was calling Panhandler a “pussy, fucking fag.”

However, the interpretation doesn’t really matter. What mattered is that, in that moment, Ralph was building up steam.

“Why don’t you come on the REAL FUCKING ARENA, the REAL FUCKING HOME OF BLOODSPORTS, you pussy FUCK?”

Ralph is now smacking the table to emphasize certain words and increase his intimidation factor - indifferent to, or perhaps unaware of, even after all these years and with multiple people having told him, the fact that he is incapable of being intimidating. He is in fact an impotent RagePig.

“Oh, MLC (Misery Loves Company, another livestream), all this faggot boomer shit!”

It’s important to note here that Ralph is not wrong about MLC, hosted by faggot boomer retard extraordinaire Kevin Brennan. MLC is strictly faggot boomer shit.

“Why don’t you come where BLOOD IS SPILT, MOTHERFUCKER?”

After slinging more repetitive invective that is not worth reprinting, Ralph goes on to say that he “doesn’t know that much about” Panhandler, “but we’re gonna find out a lot more about you very soon, cocksucker.”

Ralph then announces the start of Cruel Summer II, referencing the “Cruel Summer” of 2022, during which Ralph feuded with disgraced right-wing-commentator retard and rumored rapist Elijah Schaffer. Despite what an absolute vile piece of shit Schaffer is, his profile is still much higher than some anonymous chatter like Panhandler. The fact that Ralph is choosing this chatter as his enemy for Cruel Summer II is representative of just how far the RagePig has fallen in terms of relevance in just four years.

Ralph then seems to imply a new website he is helping to start will be a useful tool in finding out more about Panhandler.

“We (the site) are gonna play by KiwiFarms rules,” Ralph said.

KiwiFarms has been the bane of Ralph’s existence for many years, although the forum, which monitors and catalogues the foibles of lolcows from various pockets and crevices of the internet, has been relatively indifferent to the activities of Ethan Ralph for a while now. This new site seems to be his attempt to get back into the online conversation and reclaim the lost attention Ralph so desperately craves.

In any case, the holler was quickly extinguished when another chatter sent in a Powerchat about Ralph’s latest mortal enemy, Nick Rekieta, which was like a bucket of ice water on a candle flame. Yet again, the RagePig retreated into mumbling, leaving the audience in anxious anticipation of when he would turn back up.

We here at lolcownews.com are elated each time we see Ethan Ralph holler, and we hope to see more.